FEMALE ORGASM

By Anne Sexton 

FIVE FACTS ABOUT FEMALE ORGASM

There are many different ways a woman can come. Women can reach orgasm through intercourse, oral or anal sex; hand stimulation, masturbation and “dry humping”. Some lucky women can orgasm by having their breasts touched, while others can make themselves come just by thinking about sex.

Around one in ten women ejaculate a clear liquid when they come. This is not urine! Experts disagree as to whether all women have the potential to do this.

About one out of three women can have some difficulty reaching orgasm during sex, and the majority of women need clitoral stimulation rather than just penetration to reach orgasm.

The inability to reach orgasm affects around ten percent of women. The reasons for this can vary: orgasm may be always impossible; may no longer be possible but was in the past; for some women the kind of stimulation used is irrelevant; while for others it depends on the situation.

Regular orgasms make you look good. Apparently orgasms can promotes healthy skin, help you lose weight and even reverse the negative effects of ageing. It may not be a miracle cure, but certainly worth a try!

IMPROVING YOUR ORGASM

Very few women reach orgasm every time they have sex. It’s perfectly normal, although it can be disappointing. The good news is there are a number of other things you can do to help yourself get there.

Trick your body

Get your partner to give you clitoral stimulation until you have almost reached the point of orgasm before he enters. The idea is to let the thrusting become the final orgasm trigger and build a “bridge” between clitoral stimulation and penetrative sex. According to the experts, up to 50% of women who couldn’t orgasm through intercourse alone managed to do so without clitoral stimulation after using this technique regularly.

A second trick is to develop your orgasm triggers. The act of smiling tells your brain that you are happy and this triggers the release serotonin, the hormone that makes you feel happy. You can use the same idea for orgasm. Learn to recognize the

signals your body makes when orgasm is just round the corner – the sounds you make, way you move – and exaggerate them. The more your brain believes orgasm is approaching, the easier it is to achieve climax.

Kegel Execises

The PC muscle is the pubococcygeus muscles – bit of a mouthful. If you are not sure where this muscle is, it’s the one you’d use to stop the flow of pee in mid-stream. Exercising this muscle has many benefits such as preventing incontinence in later life! This is the muscle that you need to exercise to help you achieve orgasm on a more regular basis. These are known as Kegel exercises.

Find the PC muscle by trying to stop peeing mid-stream. Or you can insert a finger inside your vagina and squeeze the muscles. You should feel a tightening sensation.

In a sitting or standing position, clench your PC muscle. Hold for 5 seconds. Relax for 5 seconds. Repeat 5 times. Work up to clenching the muscles for 10 seconds, taking a 10 second break in between each. Repeat three times a day.

Count to 10 (working up to 20). Clench and relax you PC muscle each time you say a number. Repeat 10 times.

You should notice a difference in 8 to 12 weeks. Don’t practice Kegel exercises with a full bladder or while emptying your bladder. This can weaken the muscles and increase your risk of a urinary tract infection.

Don’t focus on it

Ironically really wanting to have an orgasm, and the fear that you’ll disappoint your partner, can make you feel pressured and thus less likely to have one.

Spend time with your body

You need to know how your body responds to pleasure. This means spending quality time alone and stimulating your erogenous zones in various ways to find out what works for you. Sometimes this can be easier with a partner as you often have a stronger sexual response when someone else is touching you.

Mix it up

Add toys to your sex life, either alone or with a partner. There are hundreds of choices out there, so check out review sites before purchasing. The Jessica Rabbit 2.0 won best toy for orgasm in the 2008 Company magazine/Love Honey sex toy awards.

Fantasy

Allow yourself to explore sexual fantasies while with your partner. Fantasies can increase your level of arousal and make you more aware of the sensations your body is feeling. If you feel comfortable enough with your partner, it can be very satisfying to act out various fantasy scenarios. If not, feel free to play your own erotic movie in your head.

Let go

Relinquish control and allow your body to experience the physical and emotional sensations of sex. Many women have difficulty reaching orgasm simply because they are suspicious of pleasure and thus don’t allow themselves to feel it.

Communicate

Don’t be shy about telling your partner want kind of stimulation you want and how much. Many women have penetrative sex before they are ready because they worry they take “too long” to get turned on. There is no correct amount of time – all women are different.

Slow and Shallow

Ask your partner to forgo the old up-and-down thrusting and grind his pelvis in circles and use slow, shallow thrusts. This means the base of his penis is in contact with the vulva and all those nerve endings.

Think Dirty

Maybe your partner would like to hear about your fantasies or maybe he would feel insecure; maybe you prefer to keep them to yourself or perhaps a bit of dirty talk might do the trick. Either way it doesn’t matter. Fantasies can help you reach orgasm, and as your partner is unlikely to be a mind reader, whatever scenario you create to get you off is fine. Fantasies are harmless and completely normal.

Gels

Orgasm gels work by increasing blood flow to the clitoris, which makes it more sensitive, thus increasing the chances of orgasm.

DIY

Masturbate more frequently. Orgasm is a learned response so the more you bring yourself to climax, the easier it is to come with a partner.